So You Want An Allowance?

When my son came to live with me, I decided that I wasn’t going to be an ATM for him. Instead I wanted to provide him with an allowance, that if he managed it properly would allow him to purchase things he wanted. I also needed some help around the house. I love my son, but a neat freak he isn’t. So I needed him to pick up after himself and pitch in with some chores. We also didn’t have the best relationship at the time.

I spent a lot of time trying to decide how best to set the parameters of our new financial relationship with my son. And so far it’s been working fairly well. I’ve told a few friends of mine about the arrangement we worked out and the reactions have ranged from impressed to mildly amused. I thought I’d share our system here.

One of the primary things I wanted my son to know is that I trust him. So I pay him his allowance in advance each week. I make it perfectly clear that that the reason I’m paying him his money before he’s done a lick of work is that I know he’ll hold up his end of the bargain and that if he doesn’t then the allowance stops until he regains that trust. The primary advantage to this system is that if he slacks off, I call him on it and if it continues I stop paying him until he’s put together several weeks of consistent effort. Like most people my son doesn’t like working for free, so it only took 1 or 2 instances where the allowance train got cut off for him to decide that it was easier to help consistently.

This also lets him know he’s already been paid for the work he’s about to do. When he lived with my ex he also got an allowance, but he didn’t always get paid. With this system he never has to keep track of how much he’s owed and there’s never any disagreement on the total. Since he’s paid up, there’s no chance for resentment over being asked to contribute when I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.

And finally, the amount of allowance was non-negotiable. If he wants more money the boy needs to get a J O B.